Post by Parker James Hart on Mar 6, 2011 20:14:35 GMT -5
& SILENCE WHISPERS WORDLESS LULLABIES
Parker found himself idly gliding his hand to and fro along the plush arm of the couch he was seated upon. His gaze, miles away. Every bit of his flesh felt the distance. His mind doing an exotic waltz, unable to shake the images just yet. One would think, after a certain amount of time you would adjust. Adjust to what has become of your life. Apparently Parker was an exception, assuming the aforementioned some rule of tragedy. Tragedy. One could gaff at the word. Tease him for being so melodramatic. Perhaps this was why he was still suffering the nightmares. He was thinking too much on what had become of him. He let it consume him in a manner he should not. He had no real excuse, he simply could not help it. Nor find it in him to try all too hard to do so. Why should he?
It played out in his head in flashes. His mother's cold disapproving eyes. Always as if he had chosen this. His cousin, darting off. The unknown face in front of him. The blood. The thermos. He felt like it all belonged to someone else. Perhaps a movie. The Twilight Zone. Surely something that out in the west wing could not be created in his own mind. To think, sleeping such an innocent time of passing. Dreams the thing most were told to clench to. Always the same nightmare for him, always. A part of him doubted it would ever waver. He was always careful when waking in the mist of the night like this, for he wished not to wake Evan. Luckily, he was not a screamer. Otherwise, Evan would be up every night just as often as he and Parker would request a room swap. He rather inconvenienced Evan enough as it was, he need not burden him by causing him sleep deprivation. Sure Parker did tend to shoot up straight, but it was a silent sort of panic. As it were, Parker always did his best to make as little noise as possible when leaving the room at such an hour. Sometimes he would wander the grounds, or make his way to the gym to shoot hoops, but tonight he found himself in the student lounge. All was rather quiet. No one but himself in sight. Normal people, slept. Parker the insomniac sat up and contemplated world domination. Or well, not really. He had no desire for power. He was a far too simple soul for such desires. What was the point in having power over others anyways? He would never really understand the appeal.
Suddenly, it was too quiet for Parker. He could not take the soft ticking of the clock or gentle patter of the lingering drizzle of rain. It was suffocating. He snapped from his distant place of contemplation and fumbled around on the table near by for the remote. He needed voices. Well ones that did not suggest he was going insane, anyways. Once the remote was located, Parker readjusted himself on the couch and turned the television on. The noise was welcomed. The first thing to pop on the screen was The Cosby show, which made Parker grimace and quickly change the channel. Taking a few minutes to sort through and change channels until he stumbled upon Beauty and the Beast. A guilty pleasure of his. Catherine Chandler was a goddess. Not that a lady killer like Parker needed any reassuring that a lovely lady like herself could ever love someone like him. He would never succumb to such a cliche insecurity. Or world he? He supposed cliche or not everyone succumbed to different fears or insecurities. It was a part of human nature. Not that he was exactly human. It still applied.
Then, rather peculiarly, the quiet was not so quiet. Parker froze on the spot and listened for a moment. Foot steps were approaching and he was quick to grab back up the remote and change the channel. Of course to his utter embarrassment the next thing to pop up was Baywatch. Where was the horrors of The Cosby Show when he needed it? Growing Pains popped up not long after, and he breathed a sigh of relief. Then setting aside the remote trying to angle himself on the couch in a manner that suggested he had been watching it all along. It was not the most quality show in the world, but he could handle the association with it. Parker liked to think other's opinions of him did not matter. Unfortunately, on some level they kind of did.